Sunday, March 24, 2013

Listening- Week 3 of our Challenge

IMPORTANT- Next sketch class has been changed to April 6th!!!! Mark your calendars!!!

Hi everyone, well did you get your passions written down?? Was it hard or did they just flow once you started writing? The thing about stopping for a minute in our busy schedule to take a look at some of these things is that it will help us better plan where we want to go and what we want to do. If you're like me you have come to realize that there are only so many hours in the day and you can't possibly do it all. By realizing your passions and what you would like to be free to do you will help you make better decisions on how and what you want to say "Yes" and "No" too in your life.  This week will be harder as I am going to ask you to do something that might seem very uncomfortable. I wouldn't ask you to do it if I didn't think it was important, so I hope you will do it.

As we go about our day we hear things about ourselves, compliments, comments, acknowledgments, affirmations. For example: you look nice today, you are such a good cook, you are so patient, so kind, etc. Immediately what happens when we hear these positive comments is that our negative inner voice begins to work overtime. Attacking the words as they come in, causing us to not believe them, causing us discomfort. Why is it that we feel uncomfortable with people paying us a compliment, because we don't believe it! Our negative inner voice is very loud, and strong and it wouldn't want us to get full of ourselves. It will also take some training to start to hear and believe and learn from what you hear. This week I want you to really listen to what you hear around you. I want you write only the good things you hear since our negative voice is so loud in our heads that we don't need to record anything negative. Really start to listen and write it down! When you hear the comment make sure you thank the person and don't play it down, receive it graciously and happily! Sometimes its nice to repay the compliment with a compliment, "You are so sweet to say so" or something like that. Now start your lists and as you do I want you to hear what your negative inner voice is saying and stop it right away. By recognizing that negative part of ourself we can better know how to combat it. Talk back to it, argue with it, but don't believe it! I think we are far too hard on ourselves and sometimes we can fall into a place where it is easier to say negative things to ourselves than to believe anything positive. If for some reason no one says anything positive to you then we know what the problem is! (You will need to write down the positive things you feel about yourself). For most of us, we will really have to listen, sometimes they come quickly and under the breathe of a passer by. Like, dinner was great, thanks or You make the best desserts. If we want to get compliments we need to give them too. My husband is always saying he loves me, and I have gotten into this really bad habit of responding with, Really, Me? No way! Oh that is so bad, and its almost habit now, that negative voice trying to rip me off. My husband started to call me on it, threatening to not tell me anymore and thats when I started to really see what I was doing. Sometimes its just habit to think we aren't worth loving and it comes to the surface without any thought at all anymore. Just jokingly shaking it off before we can really absorb it.  OK so we are going to stop that! This will be an ongoing list, keep writing as you hear them, carry your journal with you everywhere so you can capture them when they happen. You only hold a thought for 3 minutes, don't let these go.
In your sketchbooks make a page for compliments and start to write them down. I put people on mine but your page can be anything you like. You can call it "My Accolades" "Who I Am" or anything else you like. I can't wait to see what you have come up with!! 

I will be posting a new challenge a bit earlier next week since we are meeting earlier this next month. Go grab your goodies, your accolades, your kudos and write them down. It will be uncomfortable but who cares, get past it and seize the moments!


  1. I really like this article - it is so hard for me to accept compliments and I do try to give them to others. Right now things are hard and I try to tell my husband and everyone around me how good he is to me getting through this. A young kid in a restaurant the other day helped move a chair at the table for my wheelchair and I told him how thoughtful he was and his parents how nice it was to see a youngster who cares. I will try this experiment this week even though I am not sketching, will try to get out that journal book!

    Thanks Desiree for your past 2 assignments, gave me a lot to think about. I did write about it on my blog and that was a far as I got!

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    2. Hi Marilyn, so glad you are enjoying the assignments! I know you are in an difficult situation too! You can glean some of those awesome comments you got at Houston and Road with all your exposure? I am sure people were covering you with compliments. Thanks so much for your comments, I sometimes wonder if I am talking to myself!

    3. Thanks Desiree. I too think sometimes that I talk to myself. I think people are afraid to get their thoughts out there and being criticized for them - it took me a long time to get used to it - now I do it anyway.

      Yes, I got wonderful compliments at Houston and Road, it give me confidence to put my work out there. Have had wonderful comments from things that come up on The Quilt Shot too - I respond to each one.